My name is, "Tengku Nurathifi..."

This is what I have to deal with most of the time when people asked for my name. 

Anonymous: What's your name?
Me: Just call me Fiffy. 
Anonymous: I mean, what's your full name?
Me: Tengku Nurathifi.
Anonymous: (astonished) wow you must be related to royal family hah. which royal family you're related to? 
Me: I never know about that.
Anonymous: Where are you from?
Me: I'm from Terengganu. 
Anonymous: Then must be related to Terengganu royalty lah. 
Me: (okay...)

And then some of them would start bragging about how they know people who has royal first names and retell how I probably relate to any of them. However, there are also people who give different responses regarding my name. Because I am an introvert, I tend to only hangout with people that I really close with (and I just happen to only hangout with my Chinese friends because they're the only friends i had since kindergarten). But some people who don't even know me, pretended that they already know EVERYTHING about me. 

"look, look. she's all alone again. never mingle with anyone else except with the Chinese. sombong, tak nak lepak dengan org macam kita sebab tengku (too arrogant to come and hangout with us because she's a 'Tengku'). 

even worst, I was called as 'princess' in a negative way, because I don't mingle with other people other than my kindergarten friends. People tend to think i was too arrogant to make the first move to make friends, when in fact i was just too shy to! As an excuse, people tend to misinterpret my social circle based on my first name, just to make them feel better about it! After what i have to go through during high school (there were also during camps, trips, events etc), I started to stop introducing myself using my full name, and go with 'Fiffy' (the nickname I had since I was a baby). Unless I was asked for my full name.

So my dear readers, whoever thought that it was easy to answer your questions regarding my family history among the generations of royalty, it is not. It's not that we are too arrogant to tell you our family history, but it is because we only believe that we just happen to be bestow with the name and, have no interest of knowing why it was given in the first place. We were taught to be kind and humble carrying our first names, because of the negative responses we received from stereotype people like you. We want to show you that regardless of our name, we are just the same. We are also ordinary people who are living in an ordinary live just like any of you. So do not misjudged our personality and lives based on our names. It doesn't matter what we are named as, as long as it brings good meanings, that's good enough for me. 

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I am Grateful. (Year 2017)

Late at 2.00 am,
Suddenly all my life flashed before my eyes,
I took out my laptop and my hands started moving on its own,
Wanting to take this opportunity to be grateful
I have prayed and thank God for this gift He gave me
For all the hardships that I have been through for the past years.

I have learnt so much
Cried, screamed, running away from my problems
Led to me to the greatest future that awaits me.
I wish I could turn back time
To tell the ‘past’ me that it’s okay to cry,
To scream your heart out in the middle of the night
To let go of things along the way
Because you’re doing fine now.

Remember you said you might be left alone one day?
You’re actually made awesome friends right now, and they loved you so much.
Remember you said love was a stupid joke and you’re not gonna fall for it anymore?
You actually found someone who’s willing to do anything for you.
Remember you said how you wish to have those cool family pictures you saw on Instagram?
You’re actually got your own cool family photos saved in your laptop right now, TONS!
Remember you thought your dreams crushed in your face?
Guess what, the life goals you have right now are WAY better than those stupid dreams.
I am grateful of where I am now, so don’t worry alright?

We both learnt a lot, but yeah, we made it this far.
You’re stronger than you look.
Love yourself like how I am now.
Because you’re actually enjoying what life throws at you and live with it.
Thanks for standing strong to make me come this far,
I am really grateful.

Letters to Juliet (#FreestyleFriday)

so tonight is Freestyle Friday, this is when i'll be making fiction short stories or just randomly shared what movie i just watched a few minutes ago. 

source: Google images
first of all, i never ever get tired of watching this movie, EVER! you could say, i would probably saved this movie for future use, while cuddling with my husband on movie night. anyway, back to place, i L.O.V.E this movie so much! it's called Letter To Juliet, from the original story by Lise Friedman. okay, so this movie is about a girl named Sophie, who was supposed to be having a honeymoon with her fiance Victor, end up travelling all around Verona, to help an old lady Claire and his grandson Charlie, to find her lost love. it sounds romantic, doesn't it? looking for her lost love all the way across the sea, i mean literally, Claire was from England, and her lost love, Lorenzo, was from Italy. and she's an old lady, 65 years old!

source: Google images
in that movie, everything is just romantic! in the beginning, you can actually tell the honeymoon was just not going to work for Sophie and Victor. I literally didn't like the guy from the start, i mean, he was just not the best listener for a girl like Sophie that is passionate about writing and sharing stories. Victor is a chef, yea, still think all Italian chefs are romantic? I was really glad Sophie get to go to Verona to discover what she was missing in the relationship that she really wants. i mean, Verona, where Romeo and Juliet was born, where love is portrait as unbreakable souls and two hearts beat as one. i never ever get tired of the play, but i really hate the ending as well. i really hope Shakespeare would have thought a better ending than dying and bloodshed.

source: Google images
anyway, back to the movie, Sophie met with Claire, who wrote the letter to Juliet to ask for advice about her affections towards Lorenzo, that she thought was never meant to be due to her parents' disapproval. Sophie who found the letter, wrote back to her as Juliet's secretary, and Claire end up coming to Verona to search for her long lost love 50 years ago! along with her grandson, Charlie. and let me tell you, how charming a British man can be (especially their accent), but Charlie was totally different. he was not a total charmer technically, but physically, he is WOW indescribable.

source: Google images
so, the three of them Sophie, Claire and Charlie traveled around Verona to look for Lorenzo. it wasn't easy, but Sophie was smart to shortlisted all the "Lorenzo Bartolini"s by predicting how far he could have moved from the last time Claire and he met. and well, along the way, Charlie who was a total stubborn, actually felt for Sophie, despite knowing that she's engaged. 

my favorite part! (source: Google images)
the ending, yea, Claire actually found Lorenzo and got married too! Claire and Charlie, well, it took them long enough for them to realize they actually loved each other, undeniable to their feelings. oh, that was my favorite part. Charlie literally went all 'romeo' confessing his love to Sophie from under the balcony. it was heart-melting, i cried like crazy! i actually felt like Charlie was talking to me! yea, i screeched like a lil girl, so what, it was romantic okay.

i really recommended to everyone to watch this movie, especially with a special someone, because i know i will! before i end this, i would like to share you my favorite quote from the movie itself:
source image: Google. edited: by me.

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