She wanted to help

“Do you need anything? I don’t mind looking for them.”
“Sure, can you help with...”

The girl offers her help. She couldn’t help herself asking people what they need, or what they want. She wanted people to be happy, to be at ease on their daily lives. She thinks that helping others can also help her at ease, to see people appreciate what she did. To see others happy and healthy and well. But, not everyone is like she thought.

This is why you shouldn’t always be nice to people. Some people just happen to be a******,” a friend once told her that.

But, she never stops. She wanted to help. She just doesn’t quit thinking people would need her help. She would do anything to help others, despite getting talks behind at her back or being judged.
I didn’t say she never wanted to stop. She did actually. She felt so empty. She felt her heart was calling her selfish, why didn’t you help them, why did you lie to them? She didn’t intend to. She said she doesn’t want to get hurt anymore. As soon as she touch her heart and close her eyes, a glimpse of bright light appeared before her. The light was smiling at her, touching her head and gave her a hug. She didn’t see the face behind the mask, but the girl cried in her arms.

Dear daughter, no matter how the world treats you badly. Always remember that kindness is not to be judge by imperfect humans, but is for you to believe that there are still good in this world to rely on. For you to believe that kindness is to be touch by the heart, not for the eyes to see.”

That’s right. Kindness is a gift, whereby the eyes could only see less than the heart could feel. The hands and smiles are gifted for the sake of a better world. She did felt happy when she lend her hands to lift people’s burden. She did felt happy when her smile lifted people’s sorrow. She did felt happy when her silliness lifted people’s spirit.

Now you know why she never stop, would you ask her again?
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5 Wishlist

I was scrolling around through my 'memory box' as I like to call it. I stumbled upon a wishlist that I want to achieve before I reached 30. Here are the lists:

1. Travel the world.
2. Have my own car. 
3. Have my own house/ studio apartment.
4. Get to do a full/part-time job.
5. Get married.

Believe me when I said this, I actually laughed out loud. Then I paused. I realized that I have actually accomplished some of the wishlists. 

1. I had traveled to Korea and China independently.
2. I actually had my own car few months ago.
3. I have actually done a part-time job as a waiter at a cafe.

Well, 3 over 5 of the wishlists accomplished is quiet the achievement. I am grateful that I was blessed with the experience and opportunity given. Looking forward to achieve the other two of the wishlist. Ameen
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My name is, "Tengku Nurathifi..."

This is what I have to deal with most of the time when people asked for my name. 

Anonymous: What's your name?
Me: Just call me Fiffy. 
Anonymous: I mean, what's your full name?
Me: Tengku Nurathifi.
Anonymous: (astonished) wow you must be related to royal family hah. which royal family you're related to? 
Me: I never know about that.
Anonymous: Where are you from?
Me: I'm from Terengganu. 
Anonymous: Then must be related to Terengganu royalty lah. 
Me: (okay...)

And then some of them would start bragging about how they know people who has royal first names and retell how I probably relate to any of them. However, there are also people who give different responses regarding my name. Because I am an introvert, I tend to only hangout with people that I really close with (and I just happen to only hangout with my Chinese friends because they're the only friends i had since kindergarten). But some people who don't even know me, pretended that they already know EVERYTHING about me. 

"look, look. she's all alone again. never mingle with anyone else except with the Chinese. sombong, tak nak lepak dengan org macam kita sebab tengku (too arrogant to come and hangout with us because she's a 'Tengku'). 

even worst, I was called as 'princess' in a negative way, because I don't mingle with other people other than my kindergarten friends. People tend to think i was too arrogant to make the first move to make friends, when in fact i was just too shy to! As an excuse, people tend to misinterpret my social circle based on my first name, just to make them feel better about it! After what i have to go through during high school (there were also during camps, trips, events etc), I started to stop introducing myself using my full name, and go with 'Fiffy' (the nickname I had since I was a baby). Unless I was asked for my full name.

So my dear readers, whoever thought that it was easy to answer your questions regarding my family history among the generations of royalty, it is not. It's not that we are too arrogant to tell you our family history, but it is because we only believe that we just happen to be bestow with the name and, have no interest of knowing why it was given in the first place. We were taught to be kind and humble carrying our first names, because of the negative responses we received from stereotype people like you. We want to show you that regardless of our name, we are just the same. We are also ordinary people who are living in an ordinary live just like any of you. So do not misjudged our personality and lives based on our names. It doesn't matter what we are named as, as long as it brings good meanings, that's good enough for me. 

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