What I ever do to you? 
Where have I gone wrong? 
Why you guys have to walk away pretending that I'm invisible?
Why did you guys weren't listening when I'm talking in the group?
I'm not appreciating of all the good things you did to me? 
I'm not grateful to have people like you guys?
I wasn't serious enough?
I'm too childish to understand adult stuff?   
Is this what I have to go through after this five years in college? 
Walking in the crowd where people staring at me with those smirking eyes?
Being alone cause' no one can accept me? 
I was being too different? I was the weirdo all over again?
Am I the only one that was crazy over guys when actually I wasn't? 
Am I the only one that weren't being crazy and sarcastic when I was being myself? 
Am I the only one that likes to be alone when actually I was waiting for companions? 
Am I the only one looking for people to smile at me and wanted to be seen differently?
Maybe I didn't see what I done. 
I wasn't being too good to people. 
I didn't serve you guys well enough. 
I never done anything right in front of you.
I was called the attention seeker for doing things that I loved. 
I was called childish for crying over little things that I'm not supposed to cry about.
I was called stupid for not thinking of others' feelings other than me. 
I was called the attention seeker once more for trying to get along in the new society.
What am I suppose to do? 
Everything I done was wrong. 
You guys slowly pushing me away. After all the efforts I've gone through. 
I watch. learnt. and finally become one of you.
But no. Instead I was once again called the attention seeker.
For talking to people that I'm not suppose to talk to but you and they can. 
So what happens now? Nothing was right for me to do. 
Would it be nice then
If I'll remained silent like I always do?
Cry at someplace after the day was over? 
Pretend to smile and be happy with my wrecked life outside home?
Be alone, away from the noisy crowd? 
Is this what it feels like to grow up? Is this what you guys trying to tell me? 
So when I do become this person soon.
Will you guys do me a favor? 
Don't ask rhetorical questions about my improved attitude?
Stop asking me why I prefer to be alone? 
Stop hugging me, saying that you care to listen if I got any problems?
Don't ask where I'm going when I needed it the most?
Don't ask why I was being quiet the whole day? 
Why didn't I join you guys for lunch? 
Why I looked so gloomy day by day? 
Because these questions are meant for you to answer. 
Aren't you suppose to be happy now that I'm out of your way? 
Finally you can stop controlling me because I'm not going to destroy your new life here. 
Cheer. Be happy. That's what matters to me now. '
All I want was for you guys to be happy. 
Being alone means I don't want to get involve in your life anymore. 
And you guys can be happy. Smile. 
No worries of me wrecking anything that you put your effort on. 
Because I'll be dealing my life on my own for now.
At the same time, I'll still be serving you guys when you needed me to. 
Anything at all. I'll even catch a grenade for you if you're too scared to face it. 
Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.
I'm going to be somebody I'm not soon.
I mean, that's life right?
To become somebody that I couldn't accept but you guys can?
To be the person that I hate the most in people?
But I'm still gonna smile. I promise.
Thanks for lessons you guys put me into. 
It's time for me to become that adult that you guys want me to be.
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Saturday Picnic II

Assalamualaikum wbt
Saturday picnic again! It's been a while since our last picnic together. So today, two days after our first paper, which was Language Developement 1, our dear friend here decided to have a class picnic at Hutan Lipur Sungai Kanching. 

Early in the morning, we prepared our food at the campus's kitchen. The guys were frying sausages while the girls were frying rice. After everything was all set, we decided on our ride. which was Ruby's car, her best friend's car and Anis's car. It was half hour journey and we had fun along the way. Believe me, the best car pool I've ever had so far. 

And yeayyy we finally arrived, parked the cars, took our stuff and climbed up the stairs to where the picnic site actually is. When we got to the picnic site, man it was so breathtaking! (not saying there weren't any dudes there too, i was talking about the surrounding.) Imagine this. Tall trees everywhere; water flowing between the rocks, falling into the pool; birds and soft insects sound. You get the picture. 

As we're about to put down our stuff, we met ourselves with some "new friends". Instead of asking for food nicely, they end up stealing our food in pack. Man were we scared of them. So it was decided that the guys have to take turns watching over our stuff for us. Since everyone decided to play in the water, someone have to take charge right? 

Water wrestling, jump-diving, hold-your-breath competition, swimming, splashing each other. The guys even borrowed Ruby's shampoo to wash their hair. Everyone was feeling young again after having so much fun playing in the water. 

I'm really sorry that I have not much to tell. But it was really a long day and I really have no idea how to describe how our day was. If I got the power to record and playback my memory, I would love to let you guys see it too! I really gotta take a break now. I'm cold and got a major headache all of sudden. So, catch up later!
It took a while to climb up there just to capture this picture.

this was before everything began.

just enjoying the water.
photo credits by Ruby & Asyraff

Assalamualaikum wbt 
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Saturday Picnic

Assalamualaikum wbt

Weekend strikes again! But sadly tomorrow's going to be Monday, so booooo. But then again, I had fun today! 

After having class discussion on group whatsapp and a lot of persuading, we finally decided to have a picnic together. (and also because that there were classes before us also had picnics, so why not we do it too right?) 

So early morning at 10am, (kind of early) Huzaimi, Afiq, Asyraff aka Cerah, Tasha, Fatin, Aima and me decided to move out early to get some breakfast and do some grocery shopping for the picnic. Arrived at Amcorp Mall by LRT to Taman Jaya. We had breakfast at Atap-Atap Restaurant and it was delicious. The service was great too. We got our food real quick, or maybe it was because there weren't many people there. I had myself white rice with chicken lemon, and yeah it was worth 15 minutes wait, I guess. We took photos and took off to Giant to buy our grocery. Since I told everyone I'll be making egg sandwiches, I bought bread, eggs and mayonnaise. While everyone else was buying nuggets and sausages. And oh yeah, I can't believe someone bought chili sauce too. 

We went back home to IPBA and prepared our food at the campus's surau. Oh forgot to mention that we had our own kitchen here at IPBA, so you can cook whatever you whenever you want. It's free to use! Everything you need are there, what's missing are the ingredients that you want to cook with. So anyway back to the topic, I prepared my sandwiches while most the guys helped us out by frying the nuggets and sausages. Once it's all complete, we all ran to the Kerinchi LRT station because we thought the clouds were going to pour out, but it didn't. 

Rode the LRT to KLCC and walked to Suria Park. We found the perfect spot and laid all of our foods there. And like usual, wemake fun of each other, but as for Azlan, he prefer to play his video games more than chatting with us. So, I tag along. And as our class tradition, we took photos, Lots and lots of photos. 
breakfast at Atap-Atap Restaurant

the girls


Happy meals makes happy people.

Assalamualaikum wbt
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Lunch @ KPM

Assalamualaikum wbt 

How's my readers doing? Good? Happy to hear that then? *smiley*

Wondering what's KPM stands for? aka Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia at Putrajaya. And yeah, we had lunch there! Surprised? I'm sure most soon-to-be-teachers will be invited here someday, so be patience. 

At one clock, everyone gathered at Block 4's ground floor for the IPBA buses. By everyone, I meant all of the PPISMP TESL Jun 2014 and most of the JPPs. The mini bus was for the boys while the big official bus was for the girls. It was a long trip, more like an hour or so. 

When we arrived, everyone kind of looked like they just woke up. Man who wouldn't be sleeping in there? The soft comfty seats, adding on the a/c was set on the right temperature, makes the bus feels like a hotel suite! To be honest, I slept too! We all got off the bus and took a long walk from the front gate all the way to the main field, where the lunch was set up. And wow, the place was crowded! Food stalls everywhere! It wasn't an ordinary lunch, it was more like All-You-Can-Eat buffet! I was really pumped up when I saw the signs from each stalls. There were kebab, satay, cendol, roasted beef and many more. and by 'many more', i meant to say that because I didn't a get chance to look at all of the stalls due to the crowd. But the best part of the buffet was the fried ice-cream! I've been eager to have that for quite some time now, and finally I got it! Not just one, but two fried ice-creams per person! worth the queue *smiley with tears* I got myself oreo and chocolate ice-cream, my favorite!

Overall, the best moment was having everyone to take group pictures together. 

Smile ;)

Girls from my batch

We all had an awesome free lunch!

photo credits to Ruby & Asyraff

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Selamat Hari Raya!

Assalamualaikum wbt 

"Selamat Hari Raya
kepada saudara serta saudari 
setahun hanya sekali
merayakan hari yang mulia ini."
full copyright Selamat Hari Raya by Sanisahuri

Hey it's still Syawal month in Islam calendar right? It ain't over till the month reached the end of the day. So, Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Eid to my muslims friends and followers and readers all over the world! Firstly I would like to apologize for all my wrongdoings with you guys and hope you guys will forgive me. 0-0 yeah? *laughing with tears*

After I got back from celebrating Happy Eid at my hometown, I was really excited that there'll also going to be another celebration at IPBA as well! My first Aidilfitri celebration at college, isn't that great!

Early in the morning, everyone dressed their very best! oh how gorgeous my housemates looked! I wore my long blue jubah with turquoise-colored shawl and my blue shoes. haha go blue! Walking all the way to class, wow how beautiful and charming the seniors looked! It's like colors everywhere! Finally, as soon as I stepped into my class, man how my heart skipped a beat to see the guys looked so charming with their baju melayu and kain sampin. Well, you don't see that everyday right? Since I brought my monopod with me, I "bravely" asked everyone to take a group selfie together, and happy to say, they all agreeed! Well it took a while to persuade them, thanks to Tasha and Ruby. *smile with tears* At first we took group pictures in class until Tasha got a better idea by taking the pictures outside the class! Man it all turned out so well, almost like we're photo shooting for fashion magazine! 

After all the picture taking, it was finally food time! It was a long queue, believe me! But luckily the food was worth the wait! There were satay, lemang, ketupat, rendang, soto, lontong and don't forget the biscuits and cakes! I took a big scoop of everything in one plate, and yeahhh I was very greedy and had my stomach full for maybe the whole day! Which was a good thing because I don't have to spend money on dinner tonight, haha! 

So after we had our feast, we spent the time talking and joke around in class, with the lights off! Actually it was kind of mourning time for us cause' Afiq kept asking opinions either he should stay in IPBA or accept the offer letter from this university that he applied for before he was chosen to be with us. So, still thinking about which choices will he made. If he leaves, it's kind of sad cause' we'll lose a big brother in our family *crying* but we don't want to stop him from achieving his dreams. 
From left: myself, Tasha, Ruby, Anis, Jess, Aisyah, Fatin, Gloria, Aima, Aimi
The guys.
From left: Afiq, Asyraff, Muizz, Isyraq, Syabil, Naim, Azlan, Huzaimi
The girls.
Single photoshoot.
My roomates. Fom left: Farhana, Ima, Ruby, Tasha, Aisyah, Anis, myself, Fatin
So, it ended well, kind of, I guess?

Assalamualaikum wbt 
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Happy Saturday!

Assalamualaikum wbt 
How's everybody been up to? I've been doing great here so far. Just too many tutorial tasks and finally I was exposed to assignment work! Now I know why the seniors kept telling me good luck at surviving with the assignments and tutorial tasks at the same time! It was really hard but still, it kind of feels like doing school projects, only this one is so important that it will affect our exam grades! *freak out* I've been trying the hardest, so pray for me okay guys? 

Anyway, happy saturday! yeah finally it's weekend! So instead of staying at the hostel and get bored to death, why not take a stroll around Kuala Lumpur with your closest classmates? So that's what we actually do! After group discussion on Whatsapp, Huzaimi, Tasha, Fatin and me decided to look for pamphlets for our assignment while take a walk around KLCC. And believe me, it was worth it! 

We arrived at KLCC in the morning by LRT. As soon as we arrived, we end up going out at the wrong exit! man how we laughed about it! We started to look at the map on our smartphones and it was a very, i mean, a VERY retiring walk to Suria KLCC front entrance. We made it there, for pete sake, we were relieved! It was a very hot day and we were all very hungry, so we decided to have our breakfast at the food court on Level 2. I had myself a cup of cold chocolate from White Coffee while the others bought themselves chicken rice and nasi lemak. I almost chocked when they told me their chicken rice and nasi lemak costed them more than RM5! I was like, it was not normal for me who came from a small town in Terengganu, as those food only costs less than RM3 from my place! But luckily they were satisfied that they were really full. 
After we're done, we got our pamphlets at the information counters and we got pretty lost of not knowing what to do next. In the end, Tasha decided to take us for a walk around the Suria Park. It was very lovely! It has been 12 years since I came to this place. Surprisingly it was as beautiful as I imagined it would be. There were family, friends, tourists, couples and pupils from school trips too! I'm not surprised that there were so many people during weekends. We took pictures along the way, even with tourists! Man how embarrassed we were that time, practicing our English to ask permission with the tourists to take pictures with us. But it was a good exposure as we met many amazing people along the walk. 
how hot they looked right? *floating hearts*

the family was really nice asking about our college life *smiley*

photo credits by Tasha
Overall, we had fun. How was your Saturday? 
Assalamualaikum wbt
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Assalamualaikum wbt 
Let's give a moment of silence for the tragedy of MH17. Al-Fatihah to the muslim victims who were involved in the tragedy. Deep condolences for the family and friends of the victims. It literally tears me apart after hearing the shocking news on TV while enjoying the night hanging out with my housemates at a nearby cafe. Just imagining if one of the victims is someone that I truly close with, eagerly waiting at the airport for their return, waiting for the souvenirs that they promised to being back from their vacation. It was just too much to handle it all in. 

So for that, my batch was told by the campus's Student Council Department to ride the official bus today and straight to the parliament. At first we were really confused of thinking that it was going to be a field trip or something. But when we got there, we saw many students coming from different universities stood at the road side, chanting "Justice for MH17!" They were holding flags and wore the T-shirts that also said "Justice4MH17". Oh, almost forgot, they were given away boards with the same slogan as well. We got down for the bus and were told to tag along with the other students. And believe me, it was crowded and hot as well. 
But the best part was, some of us even got ourselves interviewed by foreign reporters, which was awkward, but awesome! Oh and I almost forgot that we were chanting these towards the big bosses who "worked" inside the parliament. Waving the signs and chanting out loud to their cars that passed by in front of us.

photo credits by me :)

Assalamualaikum wbt

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Innovation Day.

Assalamualaikum wbt 

Let's see now, it's been three weeks I guess moved into IPBA. so far so good until this day arrived. Innovation day, the day where each class representatives from each batch show their innovative mind of making teaching fun for pupils. As a teacher-to-be, we have to think ahead than anyone else, they said. So it took us all night to finish the project last night. Really glad we made it. 

see that mess we made?

So, we called our project, 'The Super Teacher'. Why do we called that? Very interesting project really and it was Huzaimi's idea. That ex-schoolmate of mine really got himself think too further than us. We were lucky to have him in our class. At least someone actually thought of last minute idea *smiley with tears*
Super Teacher
So how did you go you asked? Well, it went well. Not all of our classmates have to appear for the exhibition. Each class must have four representatives, so we choose the boys to do it. And they did a pretty good job too!

the whole class decided to go check on them :)
After the exhibition was over, prize giving ceremony. Or should I say a really boring ceremony to attend to. But luckily not everyone has to attend. But I end up getting myself involve by being a volunteer for the ceremony. Well, the advantage was the certificates. I mean when else would you get certificates other than being volunteers? So anyway, while we the volunteers, were organizing the certificates for the prize giving ceremony, we were really shocked to see the names from my class on one of the certificates! Our project got third place in the exhibition! How happy we were when we found out about it. The sleepless night that the boys been through really worth it after all. 
see those satisfied faces?
photo credits: Ruby & Asyraff

Assalamualaikum wbt
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First Iftar as IPBArians

Assalamualaikum wbt, 

Hey guys? how is it going? Good? Happy to hear that. By the way, I got too excited to post about this because it was the best experience I've ever had! (Also, because I'm trying to improve my writing skills. Literally.) Here we go!

Today was twelve day for me staying in IPBA aka Institut Perguruan Bahasa Antarabangsa. How's classes so far? Well, so far so good I guess. The lecturers are super duper nice, if you get to know better though. Then there's the class you're asking about? Well happy to announce, every classroom has air conditioning so that we never complain about sweating in class and smell like stinking skunk! (hahaha kidding. but that's what they said.) Lastly, my classmates? Yeah they're super duper nice! Still trying to get to know them better till today, we decide to hangout at Mid Valley to have our first iftar together! What's iftar you asked? Iftar means breaking fast in groups. *smiley*

But sadly not everyone can make it. But I'm surprised most of the boys were able to make it. Only four girls came, which include me. *smiley with tears* We departed early but we didn't came all at once. The guys rode the KTM while for us girls we rode Ruby's car, which was really convenient and cheap LOL. We all arrived at Mid Valley three hours early before maghrib prayers so we all went to the MPH bookstore to get the books that the lecturers been telling us to get for class. It was funny that everywhere you go, you'll see your classmates' faces. It was almost like we're the only one there. But since I'm not a fan of educational books, I went to the comic sections and talked with some of the boy classmates there. (aka one of my crush was there too *stick tounge out*) We got our books and got separated cause' the guys was hoping to break their fast at the KFC while the girls decided to go to the Oasis Food Court instead. 

When we arrived at the foodcourt, man it was crowded! so crowded that there was no empty seats and it was saddening. In the end, we all decided to pray first while the guys already packed their KFC meals. After we finish our maghrib prayer, we were relieved that finally there were many empty seats and we enjoyed our dinner. I had sizzling Yee Mee and it was delicious! We all had so much fun talking and making jokes at each other.

After dinner, we decide to pick a movie to watch together since it was still early to go back. Everyone decided to watch horror movies till they started to stare at me asking if it was okay. Turns out they can really tell that I'm not a fan of horror movie. At first they really forced me to watch it but I was still not convinced to enjoy the movie, and the fact it was night time. In the end, Ruby and Afiq decided to check out any movies available that EVERYONE can watch. Finally, they got tickets for Rise of the Apes (if i'm not mistaken) and it was at 12.30 midnight! We flipped out, especially Fatin and me! But it was also fun to know that if we got home late, at least the whole class will get in trouble. (once in a while right?)  

while waiting for three hours to pass to watch the movie, we spent time walking around Mid Valley and it was kind of creepy seeing most of the shops were closed and not many people were around. We took pictures and finally we decided to separate again. Some of us hangout in front of the cinema tickets counter while some went to the empty comfty cushion seats at Noodle Station. I was at the Noodle Station. And the fact that one of my classmate was sick, I invited him too, so that he can rest and sleep at the couch. Oh how comfortable he looked, I mused. Literally sleeping like a baby while holding his phone in his hand. One true fact about him was he never, I mean so far EVER, let go of his phone or left it in his pocket. 

And finally, we got to watch the movie and it was awesome! and surprisingly most of the guys enjoyed sleeping more than watching the movie. How can they even sleep with the sounds effect being so loud that even my seat was shaking that time? The movie ended at 3am and all the guys went home by cab while we rode Ruby's car home. It was kind of scary ride because I can tell Ruby was really tired. We got home safe in one piece and happy to announce, we didn't get in trouble. because according to IPBA's hostel rules, during fasting month we're allowed to move freely everyday but be home before 4am. So, we were one hour early. Thank goodness huh? 

So that's how our days went. It was an epic day because I knew that I'll get in trouble if my parents found out about this. *stick tounge out* But hey, live while we still can. It's kind of okay to make certain mistakes in our life so that one day we can laugh about it together right? 

Left side (from front): Ruby, myself, Tasha, Muizz, Isyraq, Huzaimi
Right side (from front): Fatin, Afiq, Asyraff, Syabil, Naim

just taking a stroll around Mid Valley

waiting for movie time!

 got too bored waiting.
photo credits to Ruby and Asyraff :)

Assalamualaikum wbt 
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I'm an IPBA Freshman 2014

Assalamualaikum wbt

Hey guys! anyone missed me? sure you guys are! at least a little right? well enough bout this cause' I got something else to share, so keep your eyes peeled ladies!

I'm happy to announced that I'm moved to another college last week! I'm not gonna say I'm fuly happy cause' I was really looking forward to permanent-ly stay at CFS IIUM at Petaling Jaya. But Allah planned what's best for me. 

so on 25th June 2014, my parents sent me few kilometres away from my previous college, to IPBA or also known as, Institut Perguruan Bahasa Antarabangsa at Lembah Pantai, Kuala Lumpur. It was really sudden when I got the offer to this campus when I was at CFS IIUM. I remember I cried all night thinking which one is best for me. I asked my parents, then my friends then my parents again LOL. In the end, the next morning after Subuh prayer, I made my choice and here I am! 

You want me to share my expriences here at IPBA? wow I don't know where to begin but the whole orientation was really uptight but in the end it went awesome! The orientation wouldn't be awesome without the JPP of IPBA or also known as Jawatankuasa Program Pelajar. I finally understand why they say don't judge a book by its cover because the JPPs are just somebody that you don't expect to meet elsewhere. I am looking forward of volunteering in JPP one day or soon. 

overall, after a week staying at IPBA, it's been amazing so far. I met great new friends and have the coolest classmates ever! I'll post the pictures of my classmates later cause' right now I really having trouble of organizing my schedule. In the first week of being here and we're already receiving so many assignments that need to be done due tomorrow. chat ya guys later!

I'm Going To College Soon!

Assalamualaikum wbt

hey everyone, how is it going? lately I've been really depressed, I didn't eat right, I never sit quietly, I never stop crying. But the positive side of me was, I never stop working out cause' that was the only was for me to let go my negative thinking. Ad I gotta say, I saw improvement on my body and I never feel so healthy :)

So yeah, as a kid who's about to get into college soon, I am pretty excited. I'm gladly to announce that I've been offered to IIUM, International Islamic University Malaysia, for Foundation of English. Well, actually my first choice was UITM for Foundation of TEASL , but I'm pretty grateful of what I already received. It was also kind of sad to see some of my friends weren't chosen to any universities that they applied to. oh yeah almost forgot, even before I even sat my foot into university, I've met so many new friends who's going to the same place on Twitter. I never feel so excited to go studying again after six months leaving my books at the dusty corner, hahaha. And the best part is, I'l be experiencing, driving my OWN car to college! this is the adventure that I've been waiting for! But first things first, I have to study abit for the EPT aka English Placement Test, so I can be in Band Six at college. So, on 7th June 2014, I'll be on my way to Petaling Jaya to register myself of becoming an official college student in IIUM. Pray me all the best guys!

Okay that's it guys. Hope you guys are excited to be reading more of my posts after I got into college. I'll be sharing my full experience at college so, who knows, maybe it'll be helpful for some new freshmans soon. toodles!